Having a Sibling With Autism
...not joking here Jake...it really is a 'Mission From God'...
While 'creeping'(I just love using my teenagers hip lingo) my wife's Facebook the other day, I watched a video she posted that was made by a young man about his relationship with his older brother who has autism.
As I expected, it was very heart warming and easily related to, especially as a father of seven children(with 6 of them having a brother on the spectrum!). What stuck with me most from watching this 6 minute video, was what the young man Spencer said about his brother Mitchel, "making him a better person". This is something I have often expressed myself regarding the opportunity we have been given, having Tommy as a member of our family. The opportunity or challenge to be a better person is not just limited to my wife and I. From myself right down to our youngest, we all have been given the chance to learn what true compassion and charity is through our dealings with Tommy.
This is not to say that we all have perfect dealings with him either. We are not a house full of saints...yet. Though with Tommy's help, we are getting there. Whether it is 'big sis' Molly "Losing Her Awareness" or his younger brother Brendan getting heaps of embarrassed with his big brothers "student of the week" bio, where Tommy lists among his favorite shows the toddler staple , "Bubble Guppy's". This of course, being posted outside the class for the entire student body to see... (to quote Kevin McAllister from "Home Alone", "A guy could get 'pounded' for that...") We all have had our moments dealing with our "Man of Many Quirks".
...and just like like Spencer when regarding his brother Mitchel, we wouldn't have it any other way. While Tommy might require some extra patience, he also happens to be the most gentile, genuine and genial soul under our roof. He helps bring out the best in all of us and with the 'big ol' family' he was blessed with, he is given more socialization opportunities than he probably wants at times (especially when he has to wait his turn to play the Wi!). This has in turn, helped him tremendously. Dealing with brothers and sisters at home is most definitely a sure, tried and tested training ground for socialization and problem solving. We have seen how his dealings with his siblings has prepared him in the every day dealings he encounters in school. He was definitely put in our home for a reason.
Tommy also knows that whatever the day might bring at school, he goes home to a judgement free home with plenty of people to hang out with, who also happen to love him unconditionally. What a safety net he has with this. One of the biggest misconceptions people have regarding children with autism is that they are content to be alone. Not true. More often than not, like with our Tommy, it is the ability to INITIATE friendships and even conversations that is lacking. They DO feel left out. Going off and 'stimming' in their own little world is how they cope, not necessarily their preference. Having a sibling (or more) can be such a comfort in providing the type of human contact that children with autism most certainly desire, but cannot always adequately express their need of.
Now, far be it from me to pass up on a chance to reference a line from the "Blues Brothers" at any given opportunity, but I really do believe that anyone who has a family member with any sort of special need is indeed "on a mission from God". There will be challenges, tears and frustrations. There is also a huge upside if you are approaching it the right way. The video I just watched shows a young man with a truly unique perception of his brother. This is a perception my wife and children and I have of Tommy. It is one that family members and care givers of special needs children all over the world get to share when they view their loved one. They are not viewing their loved one with the eyes of the world, they are viewing them through God's eyes. God sees us all in our perfection, He does not make mistakes. This is a gift. A gift you can only appreciate when you report for duty, and accept your 'mission'.
Thanks for 'accepting your mission' and sharing your video Spencer. Hopefully everyone will be able to see the spectrum from God's perspective someday.
Tommy also knows that whatever the day might bring at school, he goes home to a judgement free home with plenty of people to hang out with, who also happen to love him unconditionally. What a safety net he has with this. One of the biggest misconceptions people have regarding children with autism is that they are content to be alone. Not true. More often than not, like with our Tommy, it is the ability to INITIATE friendships and even conversations that is lacking. They DO feel left out. Going off and 'stimming' in their own little world is how they cope, not necessarily their preference. Having a sibling (or more) can be such a comfort in providing the type of human contact that children with autism most certainly desire, but cannot always adequately express their need of.
Now, far be it from me to pass up on a chance to reference a line from the "Blues Brothers" at any given opportunity, but I really do believe that anyone who has a family member with any sort of special need is indeed "on a mission from God". There will be challenges, tears and frustrations. There is also a huge upside if you are approaching it the right way. The video I just watched shows a young man with a truly unique perception of his brother. This is a perception my wife and children and I have of Tommy. It is one that family members and care givers of special needs children all over the world get to share when they view their loved one. They are not viewing their loved one with the eyes of the world, they are viewing them through God's eyes. God sees us all in our perfection, He does not make mistakes. This is a gift. A gift you can only appreciate when you report for duty, and accept your 'mission'.
Thanks for 'accepting your mission' and sharing your video Spencer. Hopefully everyone will be able to see the spectrum from God's perspective someday.
Please donate to Ocean Cure @: http://www.crowdrise.com/tomlewis
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