Drum Roll Please...

..The 90 Day Weigh-in Results...

Okay...Enough drama, here we go...

Final  weigh-in 217.8 pounds, 2 more pounds lost in the final 6 days. 90 day total- 46.6 pounds lost.

I made it...mission accomplished...

I'd like to thank my wife Tara for believing in me and encouraging me every step of the way. I love you honey, there was no way I would've done it without you. All the times bugging you to review my posts, and at the worst times, cooking meals geared to help me lose, dealing with my initial grumpy moods and a whole lot of other things.

Thanks to everyone who has given me so much encouragement along the way.

Thanks to the early donors, I knew many people would be waiting to the end to donate, but believe me, the early show of support did wonders for my 'fragile' ego and boosted me beyond what I can express from a keyboard. It was equally humbling and invigorating to my efforts.

Thanks to the inspirations in this cause, my son Tommy and our friends at Ocean Cure. They empowered me to attempt this and in turn, all those donating are empowering THEM to do great things for others. The lengths that their charity can reach is extended by the magnanimity of others.

...and thank you God for keeping me focused and giving me the strength to pull this off. This munch-happy, couch potato would in no way have been able to pull this off on his own. All the glory is Yours.

I'll post again in a couple of days to wrap things up and let you know how my fundraising rounded out. Donations can still be made via my Crowdrise account. I plan to keep blogging for autism awareness and to chronicle my weigh loss. Y'all have kept me honest, I think I'll stick with it! I think my next goal will be to be 200 pounds by St. Patrick's Day..."Lean for the Green" maybe???

Thanks again and God bless!!!

Day1 (No, that is not a 'Body Armor' Shirt I'm Wearing!)                                                                      Day 90 (Not quite 'Fabio'...yet!)

Please donate to Ocean Cure @: http://www.crowdrise.com/tomlewis

Having a Sibling With Autism

...not joking here Jake...it really is a 'Mission From God'...

While 'creeping'(I just love using my teenagers hip lingo) my wife's Facebook the other day, I watched a video she posted that was made by a young man about his relationship with his older brother who has autism.

 

As I expected, it was very heart warming and easily related to, especially as a father of seven children(with 6 of them having a brother on the spectrum!). What stuck with me most from watching this 6 minute video, was what the young man Spencer said about his brother Mitchel, "making him a better person". This is something I have often expressed myself regarding the opportunity we have been given, having Tommy as a member of our family. The opportunity or challenge to be a better person is not just limited to my wife and I. From myself right down to our youngest, we all have been given the chance to learn what true compassion and charity is through our dealings with Tommy.

This is not to say that we all have perfect dealings with him either. We are not a house full of saints...yet. Though with Tommy's help, we are getting there. Whether it is 'big sis' Molly "Losing Her Awareness"  or his younger brother Brendan getting heaps of embarrassed with his big brothers "student of the week" bio, where Tommy lists among his favorite shows the toddler staple , "Bubble Guppy's". This of course, being posted outside the class for the entire student body to see... (to quote Kevin McAllister from "Home Alone", "A guy could get 'pounded' for that...") We all have had our moments dealing with our "Man of Many Quirks".

...and just like like Spencer when regarding his brother Mitchel, we wouldn't have it any other way. While Tommy might require some extra patience, he also happens to be the most gentile, genuine and genial soul under our roof. He helps bring out the best in all of us and with the 'big ol' family' he was blessed with, he is given more socialization opportunities than he probably wants at times (especially when he has to wait his turn to play the Wi!). This has in turn, helped him tremendously. Dealing with brothers and sisters at home is most definitely a sure, tried and tested training ground for socialization and problem solving. We have seen how his dealings with his siblings has prepared him in the every day dealings he encounters in school. He was definitely put in our home for a reason.

Tommy also knows that whatever the day might bring at school, he goes home to a judgement free home with plenty of people to hang out with, who also happen to love him unconditionally. What a safety net he has with this. One of the biggest misconceptions people have regarding children with autism is that they are content to be alone. Not true. More often than not, like with our Tommy, it is the ability to INITIATE friendships and even conversations that is lacking. They DO feel left out. Going off and 'stimming' in their own little world is how they cope, not necessarily their preference. Having a sibling (or more) can be such a comfort in providing the type of human contact that children with autism most certainly desire, but cannot always adequately express their need of.

Now, far be it from me to pass up on a chance to reference a line from the "Blues Brothers" at any given opportunity, but I really do believe that anyone who has a family member with any sort of special need is indeed "on a mission from God". There will be challenges, tears and frustrations. There is also a huge upside if you are approaching it the right way. The video I just watched shows a young man with a truly unique perception of his brother. This is a perception my wife and children and I have of Tommy. It is one that family members and care givers of special needs children all over the world get to share when they view their loved one. They are not viewing their loved one with the eyes of the world, they are viewing them through God's eyes. God sees us all in our perfection, He does not make mistakes. This is a gift. A gift you can only appreciate when you report for duty, and accept your 'mission'.

Thanks for 'accepting your mission' and sharing your video Spencer. Hopefully everyone will be able to see the spectrum from God's perspective someday.

Please donate to Ocean Cure @: http://www.crowdrise.com/tomlewis

 

Week 12 Weigh-In...

The Finish Line Is In Sight...

Has it been 12 weeks already??? This all has exceeded my expectations as far as the weight loss has gone. It's hard to believe that I entered this with any sort of trepidation. I feel like a new person regarding my general health, my energy and confidence have soared and quite frankly, I've had more fun than I could have imagined writing this blog. Thanks to all those who have been following.

This last couple of weeks have been all out as far as my exercise regime has been concerned. While my ruined shoulder has kept me from ever getting serious with weights, I have found a decent substitute by using a modified lumberjack version of a  shortened golfers swing and have been clearing out my property of all the excessive pine trees behind our house. My stubborn Irishness has had me resist my wife's pleas to get a new chainsaw or borrow one from a friend in favor of doing it the old fashion 'manly' way. You'd be surprised how great a workout you can get from swinging an ax and hauling tree sections. It is pretty therapeutic too! Did it make any difference in the loss column though???

Oh, yeah...

219.8 pounds. 8.6 more pounds lost! (I know, maybe if I shaved my legs I could get another pound out of the deal!) This brings my 12 week total to 44.6 pounds. I am officially in my 40 to 50 pound range goal that I set back in October. Mission accomplished, with 6 more days to put some icing on the cake...hmmm...maybe that wasn't the best choice of idioms, but I think you get the point!

So with 6 more days to try to shed a couple of more pounds and put up another post or two, it also gives me 6 more days to accomplish the part of my mission that I feel like I've been failing at...Raising money for Ocean Cure. I will continue to ask, PLEASE donate to this cause. Spread my blog around to whoever you think might benefit from it and whoever you think might be compelled or inspired to donate. Writing this blog is the best way I found that I can contribute in enabling them in their worthy mission. If a donation is within your means to help them to continue what they do, it would be hugely appreciated as well as put to great use. 100 percent of what is donated goes directly to Ocean Cure to pay for the camps that they run.

This is what they did last year, so you can see where your money goes:

Thanks for supporting Ocean Cure!

Please donate to Ocean Cure @: http://www.crowdrise.com/tomlewis

"What...No Gravy???"

Compulsive Behavior...Not Necessarily Just a "Spectrum Thing..."

"Flap-flap-flappity-flap..."

This is our little verbal cue to Tommy, to let him know his little stimming ritual of flapping needs to be reigned in and brought under control. Not that there is anything wrong with him stimming. It is often a tool he uses to decompress from the fears and anxiety of the days in many cases. For Tommy, it is also a way to deal with an overload of sensory input. This usually comes in the forms of the video games and television programs he gravitates towards. It didn't take us long to realize from watching some of the moves he comes up with and the sounds he makes, that he is often re-enacting what he is viewing or playing. It kinda got to where it felt like you were living with Michael Winslow, the sound effect comedian from the Police Academy and Spaceball movies.

Sure he wasn't harming anyone, but the fact that any moment that he couldn't get his hands on a 'Mario' game or a Spongebob show, he was checking out old recordings of his previously played/viewed shows from his extended mega-gig memory that he has in his brain...then reliving them through the "flap-flap-flappity-flaps". He found a little loop-hole in his media compulsion. His flapping.

The answer was to obviously cut back on his video input. Easier said than done. Not that my wife was not up to the task. She is pretty much up right on the money when it comes to rationing the TV/computer/video input in the house. Me on the other hand...well I hate giving the guy/dad excuse again, so let's just say I'm weaker in this area, just a big old softy when it comes to the boob tube I guess. The other area that Tommy struggles with that I completely relate to, is his compulsion to eat. Like his papa, he is a 'grazer'. No pass through the kitchen could be met with a check of the fridge to see if a big old piece of chocolate cake might've been overlooked, just waiting for yours truly to devour. Settling for a couple of snack pouches of Famous Amos would usually suffice...hmmm...we have some leftover pizza....is that that Dubliner cheese from Costco that I love so much??? Whoa...can you say "learned behavior"??? Could it be that Tommy's eating habits are more than just a byproduct of his autism?

There are certain things you need to take control of for your kids. Set the limits, regulate, monitor and maintain. What a child puts into their body and mind are on the parents. It's our watch. Whether a child is on the spectrum or not, we need to be their regulators and modulators, but we also need to be their example. For years I felt like the dog in that cartoon, asking the cat who was scoring him food where the gravy was...getting bigger and bigger. Looking in the mirror had me reconize the disservice I was doing to myself. The greater disservice was the example I was setting for my kids. The decision to tackle this diet and change my eating habits has been a benefit on so many different levels.

Glad I figured this one out, we all get the 'gravy' from that revelation!

Please donate to Ocean Cure @: http://www.crowdrise.com/tomlewis

Week 10 Weigh-In...

...Will I Make the Weight????

I can't believe I am this close to the finish of this thing. Just two weeks and 6 days to go. My personal goal is to continue dieting and getting in shape, I'd like to get myself between 185 and 190 pounds as my normal weight. In the mean time, like I had said on my last weigh-in post, I think I have my goal of 40 to 50 pounds covered. The question is, will I end up at the upper end of my goal or the lower?

Now, I will admit, the guy who started this health challenge would've seen the quick reach to the lower end of the goal and taken it as a chance to cruise the rest of the way. But I must say, my early success has fueled my fire. I really want to go as far as I can with this. Why can't I reach the weight I was at as a rookie cop? My last weigh in saw me at 232.4 pounds. I remember first gaining this weight several years back and thinking I never want to be this weight again, never even considering that I would eclipse this total by about 38 more pounds (I was almost 270 about two weeks prior to starting my challenge). The difference these days is, that the 232 I now carrying can jog 5 miles with no problem. I run or machine it 5 times a week, anywhere from 45 minutes to an hour. I walk regularly, do my push-ups and crunches and can actually FEEL myself getting in better shape from week to week. This has truly been a life changer for me.

So here we go, my Week 10 weigh-in...

...well, a little less than what I was hoping for. 4 pounds is 4 pounds though. I know now I am at the point that it will be coming off more slowly. I still have almost three more weeks to lose between 4 pounds to reach 40 pounds and 14 pounds to reach 50 pounds. Like I said before 'old me' might've opted to coast to the 40, but the new me plans to go all out.

Let's see where it takes me...


 Please donate to Ocean Cure @: http://www.crowdrise.com/tomlewis

The Healing Qualities of the Ocean

"Waves are..., toys from God"~Clay Marzo, pro surfer affected by autism

"He was comfortable in his skin. Out of the water, he is not comfortable, even today. In the water, it's like he can breathe."
  

This sounds like something my wife or I might have said regarding Tommy. I am sure it is a quote that many autism parents can relate to. The person who said this is Jill Marzo, mother of Clay Marzo, pro surfer who lives under the Autism spectrum with Aspberger's. For many people with autism, water can be like a magnet. Our Tommy was definately one of those who would gravitate towards anything wet. This became out greatest concern with him during his "flight risk" days (from 2 to 7 years of age...and even a concern during unaccounted moments to this day). Overflowing bathtubs and impulsive missions to egress the home and breach the neighborsfenced  yards to see their pools kept us on heightened alert. These were also the years where we seemed to impose a self exile from society on ourselves. Tommy was indeed a handful during these years. "Where's Waldo" was a fun game of seek and find with pictures. "Where's Tommy" was a game that usually lasted no more than a minute or two, but those two minutes seemed to take a lifetime to pass, and it was NOT fun.

Living in a beach town and not going to the beach was getting a bit frustrating. When he was around 3 years old, we decided to give it a shot taking him to the beach. Garbed in a sea creature life vest we braved the sandy, shelly beach of Wrightsville, knowing full and well that Tommy would be a one-on-one. It didn't take long for us to realize that this was HIS environment. The level of peace he'd have, his desire to communicate, his ability to follow directions were all proportional to his exposure to the beach. His 'crave of the wave' helped him to find his own identity and broadened his social development beyond anything else we tried with him. What he so desired to be near, was water. Water that we thought could harm him. Sure there are dangers that come with the ocean and its surroundings. You cannot just throw caution to the wind when it comes to experiencing the joys of the beach.  But it was most certainly worth getting our brave on, and packing up the family to enjoy something we had so taken for granted and had feared we'd lost.

Tommy's love of the water has opened so many doors. From his first experience surfing with Izzy Paskowitz's Surfers Healing, to his current relationship with Ocean Cure. While his identity as a surfer does not make him the next surfing prodigy like Clay Marzo, we definately feel a kinship with folks like the Marzo's and the Paskowitz's, who have found hope through these awesome, HEALING "Toys from God" that He provides in His wonderous oceans.

Anyway, check out this video documentary of Clay, "Just Add Water".

The awesomeness of autism! Enjoy!!!

Please donate to Ocean Cure @: http://www.crowdrise.com/tomlewis

Lessons in Forgiveness...

...From the Spectrum

From a recent conversation with Tommy...

Tommy: Dad...I'm sorry for the way I acted earlier..
Me (Not knowing where this was coming from): Well, I'll always forgive you Tommy, but I'm not sure what you did...
Tommy: I yelled at you for rushing me to get ready for school... I acted like a jerk...
Me (recalling the morning incident that had long since fallen off my radar): Of course I forgive you...

Sure, it fell off my radar. It stayed on his all day though. The one thing about Tommy, is he wants to stay in good favor. Not because he is looking for something, it is just that the thought of you being displeased with him can be, well...painful for him. The moment in question came back pretty quick once he'd mentioned it. Getting ready for school, Tommy was having trouble getting focused. "Captain Sensitive" was trying his best to motivate, but it wasn't the best of mornings and Tommy got a bit snippy with me. I didn't read into it to much. Our kids know to be respectful and Tommy does not get a pass due to his autism, but we also pick and chose our battles. He got over his testiness and the morning proceeded without incident. His demeanor towards me must have crossed a line somewhere in his own conscience and it stuck in his craw all day. My verbal absolution and a good 'guy hug' put him right. His pain was gone. Dad still loves me. All is right in Tommy's world. It got me thinking though, he sure has a better grasp of the healing power of forgiveness than I do. He's got it down better then most people in general.

Thinking about Tommy's desire to heal a mental hurt got me thinking of my own ability (or lack of ability) to ask for forgiveness or to give forgiveness when asked for. Or even harder...to give forgiveness when it is NOT asked for.  It can be a hard world, that is for sure. But how much unnecessary baggage do we cling to through our own lack of charity and inflated pride over who is right and who is wrong? When we perform an act of disrespect or discourtesy to another, we tend to live in the moment. We rationalize our participation in their hurt.

"He needs to get over it".

We dismiss their pain.

"Suck it up"

"Life's tough, get a helmet"

But boy, we sure don't live in the moment when it comes to being the receptor of a wrong. Then we cling to those injustices as if  they were pots of gold.

"Can you believe that guy???"

"Who does she think she is?"

The shoe gets a lot more narrow when it is on our own foot.

To any christian it should be pretty clear on how many times that we offer our forgiveness. This is why I refer to myself as a  "practicing" catholic, as in " I need all the practice I can get". I say this and yet all the opportunities I am given to ask for or to dispense of my forgiveness, I seem to pass on. This is at the very essence of what my faith is...and I'm BLOWING it!

"Would you like to check those bags sir?"

"Nope, I'll hold onto them!"

Funny how an 11 year boy old with autism has a better grasp on the art, the skill...the GIFT of forgiving, then his 48 year old father has. A father who as a police officer dealt with so many different people from a variety of different walks of life. A dad who experienced so many different cultures during his travels while in the Navy. A dad with years of conversing with people of different values and philosophies. All this knowledge and experience, yet still so willing to be completely obstinate when it comes to healing himself through forgiving or asking for forgiveness. Is it the risk of being perceived as weak that holds a person back? A concession of ones conviction? Like the initial act of indiscretion, does it even matter why? Bottom line is, what is being held onto so tightly, what I am clinging to, as so many others cling to...is pain.
How does that make any sense? One thing I KNOW that Tommy has more experience with than I do, is pain. Sights, sounds, the unknown, they can all be sources of torment for this boy. If forgiveness is something he so desires to give or receive, how can holding onto the event triggering this desire, be anything BUT pain?

Well, it is New Years Day. The time to turn the page, make a change, improve ones self or get back on track. Time to forgive and forget...

Thank you son.


Please donate to Ocean Cure @: http://www.crowdrise.com/tomlewis