"What...No Gravy???"

Compulsive Behavior...Not Necessarily Just a "Spectrum Thing..."

"Flap-flap-flappity-flap..."

This is our little verbal cue to Tommy, to let him know his little stimming ritual of flapping needs to be reigned in and brought under control. Not that there is anything wrong with him stimming. It is often a tool he uses to decompress from the fears and anxiety of the days in many cases. For Tommy, it is also a way to deal with an overload of sensory input. This usually comes in the forms of the video games and television programs he gravitates towards. It didn't take us long to realize from watching some of the moves he comes up with and the sounds he makes, that he is often re-enacting what he is viewing or playing. It kinda got to where it felt like you were living with Michael Winslow, the sound effect comedian from the Police Academy and Spaceball movies.

Sure he wasn't harming anyone, but the fact that any moment that he couldn't get his hands on a 'Mario' game or a Spongebob show, he was checking out old recordings of his previously played/viewed shows from his extended mega-gig memory that he has in his brain...then reliving them through the "flap-flap-flappity-flaps". He found a little loop-hole in his media compulsion. His flapping.

The answer was to obviously cut back on his video input. Easier said than done. Not that my wife was not up to the task. She is pretty much up right on the money when it comes to rationing the TV/computer/video input in the house. Me on the other hand...well I hate giving the guy/dad excuse again, so let's just say I'm weaker in this area, just a big old softy when it comes to the boob tube I guess. The other area that Tommy struggles with that I completely relate to, is his compulsion to eat. Like his papa, he is a 'grazer'. No pass through the kitchen could be met with a check of the fridge to see if a big old piece of chocolate cake might've been overlooked, just waiting for yours truly to devour. Settling for a couple of snack pouches of Famous Amos would usually suffice...hmmm...we have some leftover pizza....is that that Dubliner cheese from Costco that I love so much??? Whoa...can you say "learned behavior"??? Could it be that Tommy's eating habits are more than just a byproduct of his autism?

There are certain things you need to take control of for your kids. Set the limits, regulate, monitor and maintain. What a child puts into their body and mind are on the parents. It's our watch. Whether a child is on the spectrum or not, we need to be their regulators and modulators, but we also need to be their example. For years I felt like the dog in that cartoon, asking the cat who was scoring him food where the gravy was...getting bigger and bigger. Looking in the mirror had me reconize the disservice I was doing to myself. The greater disservice was the example I was setting for my kids. The decision to tackle this diet and change my eating habits has been a benefit on so many different levels.

Glad I figured this one out, we all get the 'gravy' from that revelation!

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