"Losing My Awareness"...

...Isn't that an R.E.M. Song???

 So what do you get when you cross an 11 year old boy with autism and an obsession with cracking password codes with an 18 year old big sisters Ipod...just sitting there...staring at him...waiting for him...BEGGING him to access it? Well, you end up with our latest bit of 'DRAMA' in the Lewis house! Now before we go any further, I will defend my darling daughter Molly by saying she is probably Tommy's 'Number Two' in our house next to his mama. She is a source of comfort and understanding that he truly relies on when it comes to coping with things. She is also a huge advocate for him as well as other children with autism, using her talents as a sponsored longboarder and surfer, volunteering with Ocean Cure and other surf/skate related charity camps. Here is a heartwarming video she made to promote one of them:

In fact, 'Autism Awareness' has been something practiced within our house from the time we found out Tommy was affected by it. Tommy's other big sister Breda, at the ages 8 to 10, was Tara's right hand for the two and a half years she was doing ABA/DTT therapy twice a day in our home, helping her out every step of the way. All of Tommy's younger siblings, aside from being completely understanding of some of the restrictions autism can put on our home, have made it their own practice to reach out to all of the kids they know who go to 'Room 212' like their brother did when he was attending elementary school with them. His big brother John did his high school senior project on the benefits of action related sports on children with autism, holding his own one day skate clinic himself:



Now, even with of all of these great things, there are times when we have our 'human moments'. Ones where we forget who we are dealing with and the approach required for getting the best results from Tommy. Molly, despite her fantastic relationship with Tommy was about to learn this. Upon pick up her Ipod and finding it locked up and unable to access from Tommy trying one wrong password to many....

Molly(getting about as loud as dad can): "TOMMY!!!! WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY IPOD!!!!"

Tommy(trying to lay on 'the charm'): "S-s-s-soooorrrryyy..."

Molly(unmoved...): "DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE SORRY, JUST DON' TOUCH MY THINGS!!!"

Tommy(crushed, betrayed and a whole lot of other 'my dog-just-died' feelings): "Molly, how could you...you've...lost...your...AUTISM AWARENESS!!!"

Perception is everything in the world of autism...Molly learned in one quick moment something I already knew (but could never figure out how to address until recently).  How the first step to getting anywhere with Tommy, was to gain his trust. High emotion, will not be received, but rejected. It works as its own barrier. The stronger the emotional reaction towards Tommy, the more resistant he will become to what you are trying to get through to him. Molly just learned this the hard way.

It is said that it takes an aircraft carrier going 20 knots will require a couple of miles to do a complete U-turn. This can be comparable with dealing with a child with autism who you do not have a strong basis of trust with. I was that aircraft carrier for a long time. Molly on the other hand, was no aircraft carrier. Her relationship with Tommy is more like that of a small sports car. One good heart-to-heart and a couple of 'Tommy hugs' and their ship was back on course. She got her 'Awareness' back.

So now we have a teachable moment, one that whenever I think of it, it makes me think of the old R.E.M song, "Losing my Religion" (I know, I'm a bit of a goob like that when I get something corny like that stuck in my head). It also makes it clear the importance of not just preaching the 'Awareness', but living it as well. It was also a teachable moment for Tommy, who got to see one of his most reliable comforters and confidants slip a bit, but after a little dialog and renewed commitment, things can return to normal. It was not "The End of the World as He Knows it".

Please donate to Ocean Cure @: http://www.crowdrise.com/tomlewis