Week 8 Weigh-In

 

Moderation...It Works!!!!

 

 

Week 8...This was the weigh-in I've been dreading. Christmas season...my favorite time of the year. I love Christmas. A time of giving, reflection and thanks...Not to mention a big 'eating season' for me. I already mention my wife's yearly "Cookiepalooza" festivities. If it can fit on a cookie sheet, she is throwing some ginger or chocolate on it and tossing it in the oven. She doesn't skimp on the dinner or hors d'oeuvres either. The "12 Temptation of Christmas" staring me in the face and I had a decision to make...

 

...now, while I must admit that for three days I indulged(I started my cookie sampling the day before Christmas Eve), I incorporated a technique that I am not to familiar with...Moderation. My gregarious nature has always been my downfall when it comes to the 'Battle of the Bulge'. There has never been a call for seconds that I would turn down. If "it tasted nice, I'd try it twice"...Well this year I did not pass on anything. The only difference was that I assured myself that the second helpings that I was passing on was in no way better than the first I devoured. This was major for me. So did my method work? I stepped on the scale this morning with baited breath...

 

...only cool skinny guys can pull of wearing the 70's retro tube socks!

 

 

...I couldn't be happier. Even with 3 days of being somewhat off my diet, I lost 6.6 pounds. This brings my 8 week total to 32 pounds. I also proved to myself that I can take a day or two every now and then and indulge. Just do it with moderation!


With a little less than 5 weeks left, I have just 8 pounds to go to meet the lower end of my goal of 40 to 50 pounds. The upper end of that goal looks within reach as well...and that is what I intend on reaching.



***Please make sure to donate to Ocean Cure. I am worried that I am not mentioning enough that this is a fundraiser for a tremendous organization that does so much for so many. Feel free to forward to anyone who might find this blog useful or entertaining. Thanks!!!***

Please donate to Ocean Cure @: http://www.crowdrise.com/tomlewis






This Christmas...

...what I've received this season

So here we are, just two days shy of Christmas. Our shopping is done, presents just about all wrapped, I even scored a set of replacement lights for the tree just last night. It's not easy finding lights 3 days before Christmas (mental note for next year...BE PREPARED!!!). The house smells great from the yearly "Cookiepalooza" extravaganza my wife partakes in. The biggest stress is the occasional last-minute lamentations of the younger guys over which side of the "Naughty/Nice" list they might be landing on.

I suppose the biggest challenge in the Christmas season in our house, is keeping the focus on where it truly belongs, on the birth of Christ. As a family that prays together and attempts to incorporate our faith into our daily lives, it often bewilders me how we get caught up in the commercialization of the season we hold so sacred despite our best intentions not to. That being said, on a personal level, I have found a sort of personal revelation of my purpose in the very endeavor that I have been focusing this blog on.

In the days preceding the start of my "mission", I spent a lot of time worried, excited and distressed over what I'd just committed myself to. After years of trying to shed the excess weight I'd been carrying around, I knew I would not accomplish it on my own account. So I put the burden where I knew I would embrace it the most, on one of my loved ones. Tying it into a fundraiser for some great people and blogging about it was going to keep me honest...and it has. Before doing this, I never thought I'd be where I am now, over the halfway point and at about 30 pounds lost (a little preview for my Friday weigh-in there). I am eating healthier, feeling healthier, LIVING healthier than ever before. I also feel I've had some other, deeper benefits from my undertaking.

The fact that I picked this time of year to start a fundraiser would probably not be considered the ideal frame of the calendar for most. It was mid-October when a flood of ideas and impulses hit me at one time. For starters, we were still spending Fridays going to Wrightsville Beach ,"Access 4 at 4" for our weekly sessions with "Team Jellyfish", Ocean Cures Fall tradition of adaptive surfing with some of their most devoted beneficiaries, Tommy being one of the regulars. I had been considering different ways to run a fundraiser for these folks who do so much and ask so little in return. I was also been getting more than a little concerned with my weight, which topped out at around 270 pounds at around this time. Not good for someone 5'11" tall and 48 years of age. This with the fact that I enjoy writing and had participated in blogs in the past, it all just seemed to come together. Just one problem, when should I start this diet/fundraiser/diary???
I decided that putting it off to the New Year, might just put it off permanently. In spite of the cons, like, asking for donations around Christmas and finishing up before tax returns are being received. I knew that the longer I had to make myself wait, the colder my feet were going to get...

Now, back to two days before Christmas and I'm realizing that not only do I have the supreme confidence in succeeding in this crazy challenge I put myself up to, but I am feeling a greater connection to Christ as a result of it. Christ's incarnation was to open the gates of heaven for us who chose to follow him. It was a fatherly decision made on behalf of His children. A sacrifice, one that He knew what the outcome would mean. Now I know that me stepping on a scale and taping my mouth shut to lose some weight that I myself put there, to God Himself taking human form and suffering the pains of the cross for our salvation, pales greatly in comparison (understatement of the year alert). This still happens to be a cross for me. A very real cross, one that I use to reject.  Now, I'm embracing it. For my family's sake...finally.

Through Christ’s example, I am given the strength to accomplish this. Taking the life of a poor carpenter is about as humbling as it can get. Born in a manger, rejected, turned away, fleeing from Herod's savagery, dying an unimaginable human death, all so we can be with Him and in His presence. Just as Christ wanted and chose us, the choice I'm making right now is for my wife and children, so I can enjoy them and they can enjoy me, in good health and spirit. Sure you can say my choice is for me as well, but if it were only about me, then it would just be about pride and vanity. That was never my style. This choice to become healthy and fit is about my desire to be there for them and to be an example for them in both body and soul. Take whatever suffering involved in finally losing this weight and just offer it up to God for the suffering of others.
To imitate Christ, as insufficient in its comparison as it may be.

My goal has taken on an even greater meaning for me and has given me even more purpose.

A Merry and Blessed Christmas to all!

1 Peter 2:21~For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example that you should follow in his footsteps

Understanding Anxious, Part Dux

Don't Panic...Don't Panic...Okay, PANIC!!!

Ahhhh....bonding time. Those special moments when it is just you and a loved one can be open and honest, just the two of you, no interruptions and no inhibitions. For Tommy and I, these moments are tailor made for our 15 minute car ride to his middle school. After taking the bus to elementary school, Tara and I figured that an 11 year old with autism, would be served better if he were spared the daily "Lord of the Flies" bus ride that the 6th through 8th graders partake in. It was a rough age when I was a kid. Tommy's older siblings all agreed that this was a wise move, unanimously declaring that middle school...well...let's just say it was the low point of their academic careers.

It is during these rides that we try to get in Tommy's head, as he is not prone to initiate conversation and offer his worries up himself. This is why things tend to bottle up and we get what I mentioned in a previous post, "the Mento's/Coke Effect"  with our young Thomas. It was during one of these recent 'ride and talks' that we experienced one of the occasional moments where an outside force comes with it's own Mento, and drops it in Tommy's Coke right in front of your nose...and theirs nothing you can do about it but ride it out....

The Christmas music was playing from the local pop radio station that goes Yuletide the day after Thanksgiving. We were talking about which was our favorite float from the Macy's parade when it hit. That in mistakable sound from the radio, a sound more annoying than the Spice Girls "Tell-me-wot-chew-wont-wot-chew-really-really-wont..." song and slightly less annoying than Gilbert Gottfried's voice...

"AFLAC!!!"

Yeppers...The "Emergency Alert Systems" alarm goes off aside from annoying the heck out of his hyper-auditory senses, it plunges us right into defcon-one "Panic Mode"...

Radio: Eeeeeee---aaaa----gggggggg---hhhhhhhh.............
Tommy (covering ears): OH NO!!!! FLASH FLOOD!!!
Me: Don't worry, it's probably just a test Tommy, happens all the time, do you want me to turn it off?
Tommy: Yes please...NO! What if it's a real emergency?...JUST CHANGE THE CHANNEL!!! 
Radio (new station): Eeeeeee---aaaa----gggggggg---hhhhhhhh.............
Tommy: OH BOY...THIS IS BAD...WHAT COULD IT BE???? A TWISTER??? A HURRICANE???
Me (trying another station, getting the same): I'm pretty sure it's a test Tommy. They have to do them...
Tommy(interrupting and not having any of it): IT'S A TSUNAMI...OR A TORNADO...AN ALIEN INVASION...
Me (wishing they were playing a Spice Girl song about now...): ...sigh....
Radio: This has been a test of the "Emergency Alert System" blah-blah-blah....
Tommy: Thank goodness, that was close...



Well, that might have been about the longest 30 seconds of my life... Now, how to 'data-dump' the files upon files of 70's era Armageddon-disaster movie images this poor guy has stuck in his head before hew gets to school?

A quick pep talk of encouragement and a stop at the Micky D's drive through for an order of Cinnamelts did the trick...after all, I'm Captain Sensitive now...But left to his own devices, like any other kid, Tommy is going to fill in the pieces of what he doesn't know, the best way he can.


Alarm noise from the radio=Emergency=Panic mode

...makes sense I guess.

So here we are, a weekend removed from one of the most horrific scenes a parent could imagine. As painful as it is, my wife and I told all of our children what had occurred in Connecticut this past Friday. Better hearing it from us first. We knew other kids would be talking about it, especially in middle school. Tommy came home knowing more details than what we gave, but he did okay with it. He was as prepared as he could be for this 'loss of innocence' moment. We didn't want him 'filling in the pieces' with this one, or any of our other children for that matter.

Prayers for all those who are suffering from this senseless tragedy.
God bless.

Please donate to Ocean Cure @: http://www.crowdrise.com/tomlewis 

A Day Late...

...and 6.2 Pounds Short

My 2 week weigh-in was yesterday and while I did weigh myself I failed to post. So for those who were waiting with baited breath, I am happy to report that my 'decline of the waistline' is still in effect. In addition to the elliptical, I have be sprinkling in some 'road work' here and there. Much to my surprise, I banged out 5K on my very first try and my "Clydesdale trot' is at around a 10 minute mile pace..."Run, Fatboy...Run!!!" Needless to say, my cardio improvement has gone beyond my expectations. The only disappointment was that I 'only' lost 6.2 pounds. I guess since I am feeling so good and LOOKING better, I thought it would have been more.

Not to worry though, this doesn't mean a reversion back to my old ways where I'd give up and get a 6 pack of Landsharks, a sack of Wise potato chips and replant my roots on the couch for a day of ESPN. Heck, I went to the garage pantry to get some healthy snacks and my old pal Amos (of the Famous Amos cookie brand) said he almost didn't recognize me...and that after being so close for soooooo many years...it almost hurt!!!

No, while I was hoping for another 10 pound 2 week weigh-in, I am more than happy with the 6.2 and I'm looking even more forward to December 28th's visit to the scale. I feel empowered and healthy for a change.

Donate to Ocean Cure @: http://www.crowdrise.com/tomlewis

"Losing My Awareness"...

...Isn't that an R.E.M. Song???

 So what do you get when you cross an 11 year old boy with autism and an obsession with cracking password codes with an 18 year old big sisters Ipod...just sitting there...staring at him...waiting for him...BEGGING him to access it? Well, you end up with our latest bit of 'DRAMA' in the Lewis house! Now before we go any further, I will defend my darling daughter Molly by saying she is probably Tommy's 'Number Two' in our house next to his mama. She is a source of comfort and understanding that he truly relies on when it comes to coping with things. She is also a huge advocate for him as well as other children with autism, using her talents as a sponsored longboarder and surfer, volunteering with Ocean Cure and other surf/skate related charity camps. Here is a heartwarming video she made to promote one of them:

In fact, 'Autism Awareness' has been something practiced within our house from the time we found out Tommy was affected by it. Tommy's other big sister Breda, at the ages 8 to 10, was Tara's right hand for the two and a half years she was doing ABA/DTT therapy twice a day in our home, helping her out every step of the way. All of Tommy's younger siblings, aside from being completely understanding of some of the restrictions autism can put on our home, have made it their own practice to reach out to all of the kids they know who go to 'Room 212' like their brother did when he was attending elementary school with them. His big brother John did his high school senior project on the benefits of action related sports on children with autism, holding his own one day skate clinic himself:



Now, even with of all of these great things, there are times when we have our 'human moments'. Ones where we forget who we are dealing with and the approach required for getting the best results from Tommy. Molly, despite her fantastic relationship with Tommy was about to learn this. Upon pick up her Ipod and finding it locked up and unable to access from Tommy trying one wrong password to many....

Molly(getting about as loud as dad can): "TOMMY!!!! WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY IPOD!!!!"

Tommy(trying to lay on 'the charm'): "S-s-s-soooorrrryyy..."

Molly(unmoved...): "DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE SORRY, JUST DON' TOUCH MY THINGS!!!"

Tommy(crushed, betrayed and a whole lot of other 'my dog-just-died' feelings): "Molly, how could you...you've...lost...your...AUTISM AWARENESS!!!"

Perception is everything in the world of autism...Molly learned in one quick moment something I already knew (but could never figure out how to address until recently).  How the first step to getting anywhere with Tommy, was to gain his trust. High emotion, will not be received, but rejected. It works as its own barrier. The stronger the emotional reaction towards Tommy, the more resistant he will become to what you are trying to get through to him. Molly just learned this the hard way.

It is said that it takes an aircraft carrier going 20 knots will require a couple of miles to do a complete U-turn. This can be comparable with dealing with a child with autism who you do not have a strong basis of trust with. I was that aircraft carrier for a long time. Molly on the other hand, was no aircraft carrier. Her relationship with Tommy is more like that of a small sports car. One good heart-to-heart and a couple of 'Tommy hugs' and their ship was back on course. She got her 'Awareness' back.

So now we have a teachable moment, one that whenever I think of it, it makes me think of the old R.E.M song, "Losing my Religion" (I know, I'm a bit of a goob like that when I get something corny like that stuck in my head). It also makes it clear the importance of not just preaching the 'Awareness', but living it as well. It was also a teachable moment for Tommy, who got to see one of his most reliable comforters and confidants slip a bit, but after a little dialog and renewed commitment, things can return to normal. It was not "The End of the World as He Knows it".

Please donate to Ocean Cure @: http://www.crowdrise.com/tomlewis





When the Gospel Comes to Life...

...A Scriptural Comparison...

And some men brought on a stretcher a man who was paralyzed; they were trying to bring him in and set [him] in his presence. But not finding a way to bring him in because of the crowd, they went up on the roof and lowered him on the stretcher through the tiles into the middle in front of Jesus. When he saw their faith, he said, “As for you, your sins are forgiven". ~ Luke 5:17-20



This has always been one of my favorite passages from scripture. From the time our son Tommy was diagnosed with autism it has grown to mean so much more, especially in light of the people who we have been exposed to. One of our biggest wishes that my wife and I have regarding Tommy, is him finding his place in life. That he isn't just 'dealt with' or 'maintained'. That his fullest potential can be reached. 

We live in a social society and when you are challenged with autism, it can be quite difficult to fit those social parameters. Finding people willing to 'open a hole in a roof' for him from time to time, enabling him to show his own glory is the most we can ask for. Without such help, you are talking about a sort of 'social paralysis' for a child on the spectrum. One that can be as debilitating as any sort of physical paralysis.

The disciples in this passage were faced with a challenge themselves. Like everyone else in Capernaum that day, they wanted to hear the word of Christ. What all others would soon be experiencing was something that they would not allow their paralytic friend to be denied. Through their own benevolence, determination and ingenuity they ensured that their friend would see their Lord in all his glory. Most importantly, it was their faith, which spurred the actions that helped bring about his healing.

While I cannot lay claim to witnessing the actions of these disciples from the gospel, I can say that I have seen the actions and the fruits of those who have followed their example. The men and women who give so generously at Ocean Cure carry their example on a regular basis. Their love of one of God's great gifts, the ocean is indeed great. It is also a love that they would hate to see others deprived of, due to any sort of barrier, whether it be mental, physical or social. They are the ones who are cutting through the roof, building the door or opening windows to create whatever portal necessary required for those with these sorts of limitation to appreciate this gift of nature. Not to mention the wonder and awe one can experience from it. From the wounded vet to a blind child, the boy with autism to the woman looking to restore her dignity in surviving breast cancer, from the inner city girl with HIV to the paraplegic who must be lowered onto the surfboard itself. These are the people that are experiencing the type of healing Ocean Cure has to offer. The type of cure that comes with the realization that I CAN go beyond the boundaries that might seem so apparent due to my limitation...and the realization that I have caring people that will help me face and overcome these obstacles.

I have often heard reference to the 'gospel coming to life'. I am sure these moments occur everyday. Unfortunately, me being the type who is sometimes too blind to see the forest due to the trees being in the way, I usually tend to miss them. Not so whenever I see one of the above categorized people pull an "Ocean Cure' rash guard on, pair up with an instructor who will 'lower them from the roof' so they can bravely challenge their limitations. I can see the 'gospel come to life' very clearly then.

Please donate to Ocean Cure @: http://www.crowdrise.com/tomlewis

Just Like Riding a Bike...

...Easy...for some...

In an earlier post I had mentioned Izzy Paskowitz of Surfer's Healing and his " Epiphany Moment" while surfing with his son. I said that I did not benefit from such a personal moment myself when I realized that was not really true. Back in August, I taught Tommy how to ride a bike and the moment was pretty special. It gave our relationship the boost that was so needed, where trust was finally established and understanding became its foundation.
I shared this moment as a Facebook post and I got a lot of positive feedback from it. It was probably somewhat of a catalyst for this blog. I figure it has its place here and that I should share it:

From August 6th 2012:

Best feeling of accomplish I've had recently? I taught the final person in my house, unable to ride a bike to do so today. Some of my little guys took off on their own, others needed me by their side, each time it was special. But today's milestone was REAL special. The last person to ride a bike was not the youngest, it was our 11 year old Tommy. Someone with autism has a different way of learning as well as a different clock to learn on. For a guy who overcomes things every day of his life, riding a bike for whatever reason was one of the most stressful, anxious challenges for him. We respected that and gave him his space, I'll admit that I might even have been relieved that he was giving ME a pass on this task (There can be drama at times with Tommy!). Some kids with autism will just go about life without saying what they are feeling, so you just assume everything is okay. This is how things are with Tommy sometimes. You can imagine how Tara and I felt when at the end of school year he blurted out, "I'm the only kid in the 5th grade and the only one in the house who can't ride a bike!" My mission became clear.
This new desire to ride a bike did not make it any easier to teach Tommy. Our 'Man of Many Stresses' still had concerns . "My tooth is loose", "Do I need elbow and knee pads?" "Can John(big brother) come too?"("...how about airbags Tommy? Will that make you feel better?" I was refrained from asking him by my more prudent wife!). Last week we had a trial run, with the method I used in the past with the kiddo's who were having a hard time. We would ride along the base paths at the baseball field, and I'd run along side and help them keep balance with a pole I have rigged to the frame of the bike. John did come with us and we both thought Tommy was on the right track, but we decided not to push it. Today it was just going to be me and Tommy. I'll confess now, I am not the best person in the house when it comes to dealing with Tommy. Maybe the better way to say it is that I am not the best one in the house when it comes to dealing with autism. Today it was him and me though. He started peddling and I started jogging by his side, my hand over the makeshift steering compensator I had fixed to the frame. After three laps of him pumping the peddles around the bases and me making idle chit chat, the angle of the sun cast our shadows in such a way for him to see, that something I was not ready to tell him yet, became obvious. "Dad, I don't think you have been holding onto the handle...", "No Tommy, you just rode two and a half laps by yourself..." I half expected him to get scared at the realization and crash, instead I got to see the purest smile I've ever seen in my life. He did it. I couldn't be prouder of both of us at this moment. Proud of my son finding the courage to once again face something that might seen simple and benign to the rest of us, but can be terrifying for a child like himself. And I am not ashamed to admit, proud of myself, for finding the right approach in helping him utilize his courage. It was a moment I'll always hold close, and a smile I'll never forget!

The things one can take for granted when your child is"normal" are numerous and go without notice. Learning to ride a bike, while always a 'milestone' event in a child's life, is more often than not an expectation. One that comes and goes like learning to tie a shoe or getting dressed by oneself, right up to teaching you child to drive a car. Not always so when you're talking about someone "living on the spectrum". Experiencing moments like these with your special needs child are even more rewarding as they are examples of hope fulfilled.

Please donate to Ocean Cure @: http://www.crowdrise.com/tomlewis