Just Like Riding a Bike...
...Easy...for some...
In an earlier post I had mentioned Izzy Paskowitz of Surfer's Healing and his " Epiphany Moment" while surfing with his son. I said that I did not benefit from such a personal moment myself when I realized that was not really true. Back in August, I taught Tommy how to ride a bike and the moment was pretty special. It gave our relationship the boost that was so needed, where trust was finally established and understanding became its foundation.
I shared this moment as a Facebook post and I got a lot of positive feedback from it. It was probably somewhat of a catalyst for this blog. I figure it has its place here and that I should share it:
I shared this moment as a Facebook post and I got a lot of positive feedback from it. It was probably somewhat of a catalyst for this blog. I figure it has its place here and that I should share it:
From August 6th 2012:
Best feeling of accomplish I've had recently? I taught the final person in my house, unable to ride a bike to do so today. Some of my little guys took off on their own, others needed me by their side, each time it was special. But today's milestone was REAL special. The last person to ride a bike was not the youngest, it was our 11 year old Tommy. Someone with autism has a different way of learning as well as a different clock to learn on. For a guy who overcomes things every day of his life, riding a bike for whatever reason was one of the most stressful, anxious challenges for him. We respected that and gave him his space, I'll admit that I might even have been relieved that he was giving ME a pass on this task (There can be drama at times with Tommy!). Some kids with autism will just go about life without saying what they are feeling, so you just assume everything is okay. This is how things are with Tommy sometimes. You can imagine how Tara and I felt when at the end of school year he blurted out, "I'm the only kid in the 5th grade and the only one in the house who can't ride a bike!" My mission became clear.
This new desire to ride a bike did not make it any easier to teach Tommy. Our 'Man of Many Stresses' still had concerns . "My tooth is loose", "Do I need elbow and knee pads?" "Can John(big brother) come too?"("...how about airbags Tommy? Will that make you feel better?" I was refrained from asking him by my more prudent wife!). Last week we had a trial run, with the method I used in the past with the kiddo's who were having a hard time. We would ride along the base paths at the baseball field, and I'd run along side and help them keep balance with a pole I have rigged to the frame of the bike. John did come with us and we both thought Tommy was on the right track, but we decided not to push it. Today it was just going to be me and Tommy. I'll confess now, I am not the best person in the house when it comes to dealing with Tommy. Maybe the better way to say it is that I am not the best one in the house when it comes to dealing with autism. Today it was him and me though. He started peddling and I started jogging by his side, my hand over the makeshift steering compensator I had fixed to the frame. After three laps of him pumping the peddles around the bases and me making idle chit chat, the angle of the sun cast our shadows in such a way for him to see, that something I was not ready to tell him yet, became obvious. "Dad, I don't think you have been holding onto the handle...", "No Tommy, you just rode two and a half laps by yourself..." I half expected him to get scared at the realization and crash, instead I got to see the purest smile I've ever seen in my life. He did it. I couldn't be prouder of both of us at this moment. Proud of my son finding the courage to once again face something that might seen simple and benign to the rest of us, but can be terrifying for a child like himself. And I am not ashamed to admit, proud of myself, for finding the right approach in helping him utilize his courage. It was a moment I'll always hold close, and a smile I'll never forget!
The things one can take for granted when your child is"normal" are numerous and go without notice. Learning to ride a bike, while always a 'milestone' event in a child's life, is more often than not an expectation. One that comes and goes like learning to tie a shoe or getting dressed by oneself, right up to teaching you child to drive a car. Not always so when you're talking about someone "living on the spectrum". Experiencing moments like these with your special needs child are even more rewarding as they are examples of hope fulfilled.
Please donate to Ocean Cure @: http://www.crowdrise.com/tomlewis
This new desire to ride a bike did not make it any easier to teach Tommy. Our 'Man of Many Stresses' still had concerns . "My tooth is loose", "Do I need elbow and knee pads?" "Can John(big brother) come too?"("...how about airbags Tommy? Will that make you feel better?" I was refrained from asking him by my more prudent wife!). Last week we had a trial run, with the method I used in the past with the kiddo's who were having a hard time. We would ride along the base paths at the baseball field, and I'd run along side and help them keep balance with a pole I have rigged to the frame of the bike. John did come with us and we both thought Tommy was on the right track, but we decided not to push it. Today it was just going to be me and Tommy. I'll confess now, I am not the best person in the house when it comes to dealing with Tommy. Maybe the better way to say it is that I am not the best one in the house when it comes to dealing with autism. Today it was him and me though. He started peddling and I started jogging by his side, my hand over the makeshift steering compensator I had fixed to the frame. After three laps of him pumping the peddles around the bases and me making idle chit chat, the angle of the sun cast our shadows in such a way for him to see, that something I was not ready to tell him yet, became obvious. "Dad, I don't think you have been holding onto the handle...", "No Tommy, you just rode two and a half laps by yourself..." I half expected him to get scared at the realization and crash, instead I got to see the purest smile I've ever seen in my life. He did it. I couldn't be prouder of both of us at this moment. Proud of my son finding the courage to once again face something that might seen simple and benign to the rest of us, but can be terrifying for a child like himself. And I am not ashamed to admit, proud of myself, for finding the right approach in helping him utilize his courage. It was a moment I'll always hold close, and a smile I'll never forget!
The things one can take for granted when your child is"normal" are numerous and go without notice. Learning to ride a bike, while always a 'milestone' event in a child's life, is more often than not an expectation. One that comes and goes like learning to tie a shoe or getting dressed by oneself, right up to teaching you child to drive a car. Not always so when you're talking about someone "living on the spectrum". Experiencing moments like these with your special needs child are even more rewarding as they are examples of hope fulfilled.
Please donate to Ocean Cure @: http://www.crowdrise.com/tomlewis
No comments:
Post a Comment